Good Fortune

During a long night at work last week, I found this hidden away in a half-crushed fortune cookie.  It was buried under the mounds of Chinese food delivered to my on-call team at the hospital.  

I have never been the type of person that saves these little paper messages.  Maybe it is the poor English translations… or that most express broad and general statements that can’t truly pass as “fortunes.” But, this one struck a cord with me; it has been in my wallet ever since.

One of the greatest blessings in my life has been finding the special person to share it with; my other half.  Tony makes me laugh and amazes me with his intelligence and sincerity.  He is the type of man that, even after a long day of work, will still find time to surprise me with a homemade dinner.  Personal messages written in cards, that final kiss goodnight, calling me just to say "I love you"... these are the little things that define our relationship.  

He is the man that I want next to me when I am old and grey; I hope we can look back and say that “Love” was our greatest victory.

That tiny fortune fell out of my wallet today.  I had failed to look at the message on the other side; I found the word written for “Learn Chinese” just as fitting to my life.

As a physician, I realize how easy it is to become jaded, as I am rushing through the cafeteria trying to snag a bite to eat with a long list of patients left to see.  Or, when I have to stay late to meet with a patient’s family that couldn’t make it during the workday.  Little reminders like this help to keep me grounded.  I realize it makes me a better doctor, staying in touch with my human side.  The importance of love, the connection that binds spouses, families and friends, is as much a part of healing as our greatest medical interventions.

Halloween, 2012

As kids, Halloween would be one of those holidays that my sisters and I would go all-out for.  The three of us would enjoy scouring the local Eckerd Drug Store starting in September, looking for the best additions to a growing collection of Halloween decorations.  The dining room would end up filled with our finds and creations on display... bat trees (which consisted of construction paper bats hanging from sticks collected in the yard), cotton spider webs, a figurine that danced to "The Monster Mash," and spooky light-up ghosts and goblins.  Mom would let us have free reign over that room, but the rest of the house was all hers... beautifully decorated with reminders of fall like Indian corn, colorful gourds, and autumn-scented candles.  Dad would carve the pumpkins, always with triangle facial features but would change up the mouth from one year to the next.  In the days leading up to the big day, we would play a cassette tape with spooky sounds over and over on the Boom Box... I am sure my parents were ready to throw it out by the end of the holiday!  I always loved Halloween.  And, it wasn't about the candy or the Trick-or-Treating... it was about the creativity and imagination that went into preparations shared with my family.

Tony and I have taken a piece of this tradition to heart.  Like other years together, we enjoyed looking for our special decorations for Halloween 2012.  Of course, we already had Mummy.

But, we also added Welcome Witch to our collection.

However, in terms of the costume department, I was pretty much at a loss this year.  I realized when I became an adult that Halloween for most ladies turns into a good excuse to wear fewer things than you normally can get away with.  I remember in college, one girl showed up to a frat party as "Poison Ivy..." literally just wearing high heels and a thong bikini with freshly-picked ivy woven between strings.  And, it seems even the most unsexy ideas imaginable can be adapted to fit with this general theme

However, in the past I never really had a problem finding some great costume options.  But, since this was my first Halloween spent pregnant, I sadly learned that maternity options are much more limited.  I honestly lost a little of the Halloween costume spirit in the process.  It seems there are really just 2 choices...

(1) Hide yourself in the equivalent of a bag, because that is all that will fit....

(courtesy of Ebay)

or... (2) Adapt the sexy costumes to just include a little more room for the belly

(courtesy of Ebay)

This year, I opted to skip my costume and instead focus my creative energy on another (but maybe not so willing) friend.  As we don't yet have a little two-legged child to dress up, Butters had to suffer through a holiday dedicated to his least favorite activity.... wearing costumes.  As seen from my post about socks...

and St. Patrick's Day...

... Butters really prefers to go naked

However, I was pretty impressed by how good of a sport he was about the process this time.  The first costume option ended up being a bit of a fail...

But he handled it like a champ!

And, I think there is a tiny possibility that he may have even enjoyed the final costume choice.

Butters made a super cute lion, and seemed to have no problem exploring the backyard fully clothed.

Butters was all ready to greet friendly Trick-or-Treaters at the door.  However, as a tradition all of our own, Tony and I have a pretty terrible track record when it comes to Halloween visitors.  The last few years have consisted of us buying lots of candy in expectation of it finally being the year that we are bombarded by hungry, candy-hunting children... just to find at the end of the night that we are left with enough treats to hold us over until Christmas.  Living in a busier neighborhood now, we were hopeful that this might be the year for Trick-or-Treaters!  Of course we were prepared for the alternative... and only bought candy that we wouldn't mind eating for the next three months.

To our disappointment, 2012 continued our Trick-or-Treating losing streak.  We again did not get a single visitor.  At least Butters looked super cute waiting on the couch!  Tony and I happily passed the time with a Halloween classic, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown..." and we ate chocolate without feeling guilty of depriving visitors of good choices.  

I am so thankful for the Halloween memories that I made growing up, as well as the new and old traditions that I have continued with my husband.  We look forward to when we soon will have a little one of our own to pass these on to.  And, we can't wait to discover the new traditions that we will form with our growing family!

An Unforgettable Day

I will never forget where I was on September 11th, 2001.  I remember I was sitting in Mr. Ragonese’s Global History class, learning about notable events in ancient China.  Class was abruptly interrupted when Mr. Hoffman, another history teacher, called Mr. Ragonese into the hallway.  When my teacher returned, all of the blood had drained from his face.  “A plane has hit one of the Twin Towers in NYC.”  The class went completely silent.  The rest of the morning, the school's TVs played and replayed the events of one, and then two, planes hitting the World Trade Center… and a third hitting the Pentagon.

In a different way, I will never forget where I was 11 years later… September 11th, 2012. 

That day, I had started my 8th week of pregnancy.   Over the past couple of days, my seemingly endless battle with morning sickness had backed off a bit.  It felt like a good day.  But, as I went to the bathroom at lunchtime, I noticed something I feared seeing... blood.  Just a little bit, but undeniably there... and bright red.  I rushed to the OB clinic in a haze, with terrible thoughts seeping into my mind… blighted ovum... miscarriage… ectopic pregnancy.  A same-day appointment was set for just a couple hours later at 3pm.  The bleeding seemed to have stopped by this time, but I couldn't help but think the worst as I nervously awaited my appointment.  I tried to stay focused on the highlights of 911 memorial events, playing over and over again on the waiting room TV.  Pregnant women were all around me, appearing blissfully happy as they waited for their routine check-ups.

I was finally called back for my appointment.  After a short conversation with the resident, I was told an ultrasound would be done in the office.  I waited in my paper gown for the ultrasound machine to be rolled over from another room, my heart pounding through my chest.  I had seen so many of these done before when I rotated through OB/GYN in medical school, and remember many other nervous women, like myself, sitting on the table.  

The screen was turned away from me as everything was set up.  I kept worrying, “This is it.  Right now, it all could be over."  The resident and attending began discussing the image on the screen.  “Single fetal pole intact” … “measuring 7 weeks 6 days” … “and there’s the heartbeat.”  At that moment, they turned the screen towards me.  I have never seen anything more beautiful.  For the first time, I saw the little life growing inside of me… 4 little limbs, a nice big head, and that strong fluttering heart beating 167 bpm in that tiny chest.  I couldn’t stop the tears at that amazing sight.  My fears were replaced by overwhelming happiness.  The doctors said that everything looked ok.  We both were ok.

Tony had been waiting nervously for the news.  Due to the short notice, he couldn’t join me for the appointment, but hurried downstairs to meet me briefly afterwards.  Picture in hand, I gave him the great news.  He couldn’t help but also tear up, seeing the first photo of our little bean.

Sitting in that high school class room, I thought that September 11th would always be a day of infamy.  Eleven years later, I can see that a day of darkness can be followed by one with so much much light.  Regardless of what the future holds, I know this moment will stay with me as the years pass.  September 11th certainly is, and always will be, an unforgettable day.   

No Longer New Yorkers

Today, we officially sold our house in Buffalo! The closing took place earlier this afternoon (thanks, Dad!!).  With the final crossing of T’s and dotting of I’s, we ended our reign (for now) as homeowners.  It is a bittersweet moment.  Tony and I are so happy to now only have ONE check to pay each month for housing.  We no longer have the burden of balancing 2 separate sets of utilities (it was starting to get confusing). The final step in our move from Buffalo is complete.   Today, we really feel a little bit more like Texans. 

As a final farewell to the house at the end of Walton Drive, here are some of my favorite memories of our first home.  

• The first day we moved in, we only had a few pieces of furniture transferred from our tiny one-bedroom apartment.  We celebrated the first night by watching Mall Cop on a futon mattress in the new living room sharing a pizza from Bob and John’s Suburban.  It was the BEST feeling to be able to crank the volume up on the TV without having a neighbor banging angrily on the walls.
• Not having a landlord!!!
• Our first home project together as a couple involved ripping up carpet (the previous owners had a not-so-housebroken Chihuahua) and repainting the walls (originally a puke green color) in the living room.  During the many hours we shared together in that room, we felt a great deal of pride in admiring our fine teamwork

• Cooking in our huge kitchen!  This is probably what I miss the most about the old house.  Tony and I cooked so many meals together.  We had enough space to cook at the same time, and we got making meals at record speed down to an art.  Both of us really enjoy cooking, and we tried out a ton of new recipes.  We baked homemade pies for Thanksgiving, prepared various types of chili and dip for football parties, tried our first experiments with Thai food, and greeted weekends with at least 10 different varieties of omelets.  We enjoyed sharing baking nights with friends like Erik and Maggie, which included a delicious raspberry roll recipe and a (not so successful yet delicious) attempt at tiramisu

• Romantic date nights!  We really didn’t have much money at the time to splurge on fancy restaurants, so we brought the restaurants to us!  Steak nights and lobster dinners were my favorite, sharing time together by candlelight with a bottle of wine.  Valentine’s Day 2011 was especially fantastic!

• Double dates with friends, including Heather and Bruce, Whitney and Joe, Matt and Ashley, Marc and Cassie, and Maggie and Erik.  It was fun to share movie nights, play video games, share dinners and conversations together, and of course sample different types of alcoholic beverages at our leisure.  The warm feeling that made the house into a home came from the people we shared it with
• Reliving all of the best (cheesy) action films of the 80’s with Erik
• Spencer living right around the corner.  We enjoyed many episodes of South Park and pizza/wing nights (of course, from Bob and John’s Suburban).  Tony and Spencer made some pretty epic recordings, my favorite being Deathercize 2001 (mocking P90X using a spin off style from the Powerthirst youtube videos).
• Surviving medical school with my sanity!  Without my quiet study places… the big yellow chair, my spot on the living room couch right next to the window, having a kitchen table big enough to fit all of my books… medical school would have been a harder beast to tackle. 
• Our first Halloween: We prepared with abundant outdoor decorations and were armed with 5 bags of candy... unfortunately, only one family came to the door.  We pretty much were eating candy until Christmas.
• We loved weekend visits with family.   We enjoyed reversing the roles and hosting our parents for weekend meals and get-togethers.  I had a chance to spend quality time alone with Kit and Liz.  It was great to have them each visit, where we could casually make plans together and just enjoy conversation and some girl time!
• Listening to Tony fill the house with the sounds of his bass.  I loved when Henry visited from Pennsylvania and joined in on the music.
• Celebrating Christmas!  I enjoyed setting up our full-sized tree (thanks, Lori and Mitch!!) and decorating it with both of our collected ornaments.  We watched Christmas movies all the way up to the big day.  Together, we wrapped presents for family and friends while listening to holiday tunes

• Crashing at the house after my amazing Bachelorette party (thanks, Heather!!) surrounded by my best friends
• Watching kids ride by on their bikes and scooters, and feeling so grateful to live in a safe neighborhood
• Our first snowstorm… shoveling out the driveway and then diving into the snow pile.  We never did get that snowblower!  Getting snowed-in that same winter was great… we turned up the heat, made a ton of food in the Crock Pot, and watched the snow fall
• Enjoying our little neighborhood: the Tops around the corner, Wehrle Restaurant (boy do I miss their Greek food), visiting The Friars Table in shorts (only to learn that everyone wears formal attire there), Brew Pub, and the Irishman.
• We created some of our biggest milestones in that house.  Together, Tony and I planned our wedding in the living room.  We later hosted a good chunk of the wedding party in that little house.  In December 2011, we brought home our first pet.  I loved watching our little dog make that house into his home as well. We celebrated our med school graduation with a house full of friends and family, which was a special conclusion to our time in Buffalo

It was a great 3 years.  I know we will always look fondly back at our time in that little yellow Cape Cod!