Tuesday, April 23, 2013

In Loving Memory of our Special Butters


It is with an incredibly heavy heart that I write this posting.  On April 20th, our beloved Butters lost his battle with Masticatory Muscle Myositis.  At the tender age of 1 year and 10 months, he went to the Rainbow Bridge.  He waited just long enough to meet his buddy, Leon, our first-born son.  Even with his failing health, he was just as much the loving fur-brother we expected him to be.  He maintained that special loving nature until the very end, as he passed away in our arms. 



However, it is his life, not his death, that we would like him to be remembered by.  In August of 2012, my husband finally gave in to my incessant requests to add a little cavalier to our family.  We had found a breeder through an extensive search, but had yet to pull the trigger and actively pursue adopting one of our own.  Tony reluctantly agreed to pursue the breeder, fully expecting that a puppy would not be available for some time.  However, to our surprise, one little puppy was available… the pick of the litter… a tiny Blenheim.  Despite Tony's trepidation, he could not help but watch over and over the little dog on the flip video sent by the breeder.  This little furball, playing “fetch” on the video, grabbed a tossed ball and defiantly ran the other way.  However, repeatedly he would look back at the camera with those heart-melting eyes, making sure his human friends would be following along with him.  There was something about those eyes that immediately melted our hearts.



Butters finally arrived in our home on December 15th, 2012.  I remember the excitement and nervousness that we experienced while awaiting picking him up at the airport.  My husband and I showed up 15 minutes before his flight arrived.  At every sound of a barking dog, we wondered if that may be our Butters.  When the flight assistants finally rolled Butters into us, I couldn’t help but tear up when we saw him… there he was with that feathered tail, beautiful flowing ears, and those same loving eyes.  We couldn't help but fall in love with him.



Bringing him home, he became the center of our world.  His distinct and loving personality captured our hearts.  My husband, despite his initial reluctance, melted under that little dog’s spell. They became best of friends.  Butters loved me, but he and Tony shared an even greater closeness.  Wherever he went, Butters was sure to follow. 



Butters’ antics in large part inspired me to start this blog in February 2012.  I wanted to share with others the moments that made this little dog so special.  Through my posts, I chronicled our wonderful life with Butters.  Stories included his unfortunate experience with doggie socks, encounters with the neighborhood bunny, visits with family and friends, holiday memories, creative efforts to acquire extra snacks, and bedtime routines.  Most of all, the blog captured his gentle, loving nature… a treasure he shared with all whom he met.








I remember my husband and I remarking, long before he became sick, how we were so incredibly blessed to have this special little dog.  We never took him for granted.  Even with the heartache that came at the end… complex medication schedules, frequent vet visits, watching his health fail… we have no regrets making this little dog a part of our lives.  In his short stay, Butters gave a lifetime’s worth of happiness to Tony and I.  He prepared us to become parents, giving us confidence to care for another living being.  He strengthened and deepened the love that we share for each other.  Butters reminded us that life is about so much more than work and monetary possessions.


Right now, words cannot describe the incredible void left in our lives with his passing.  We are happy that he is no longer suffering, but everywhere we look in our home reminds us that he is gone.  Tony especially is taking the blow very hard.  In time, we plan to bring home another cavalier… not to replace Butters, but to honor his memory.  We want our son to know the kind of love that we experienced with Butters. 

I would like to thank the readers of my blog for following along with Butters' adventures and for your special comments and messages.  For the month of May, Butters is the featured dog in the 2013 Cavalier Matters Calendar... he was the international winner of "Handsomest Cavalier."  Tony and I plan to celebrate his beauty... inside and out... as we look on at his picture over this coming month.


To my dearest Butters: Mommy and Daddy will miss you so much.  You will always be our first Little Man.  We hope that you look over us, and someday may we meet again.

38 Weeks

Our Baby Bean arrived the day that I anticipated releasing this post.  Even though it is a bit late, I would like to share my final post of my pregnancy experience:


Within the next couple of weeks, Tony and I will have a baby.  We will be parents.  We will no longer be a family of two (not counting Butters, of course)… but a family of three.  There will be a little person, kind of like each of us but still all his own.  We wonder what it will feel like to see him the first time and hold him in our arms.  I just keep saying it over and over to myself… in 2 weeks I will be a mom.  Here are the highlights of my (likely) last post before the arrival of (BIG) Baby Bean!

The Baby Belly:

Based on the size of my belly, I am feeling just about at the bursting point!  Given that my mom gave birth to each of my sisters right around our due dates, I am fully expecting to be pregnant for another LONG 2 weeks.  By Week 40, I am pretty sure that I will be giving birth to a 10-pound monstrous Bean!  



My belly button continues to be holding strong as a no-ey.  I think it is safe to say at this point that an outey is no longer in the picture




A pain in the… Hip?

All in all, I have been pretty blessed with a smooth and fairly painless 3rd trimester.  I have not suffered from the burning acid reflux or the pounding headaches that can plague some ladies.  My feet and face haven’t swollen too much.  Braxton Hicks contractions have been kind to me.  However, the beginning of my third trimester graced me with one particularly painful experience.  Around my 31st week of pregnancy, I could not go to bed without having terrible lower back pain.  The only comfortable position seemed to be laying on my back… conveniently a no-no by that stage.  Regardless of which side I laid on, I could not find a comfortable position.  After keeping Tony up a few nights with my side-to-side aerobics, I took a trip to the physical therapist.  To my surprise, my back pain was in fact hip pain… sacroiliac (SI) joint pain.  I tried all sorts of contraptions to help with my SI pain… I started with a belt that didn’t do much except press on my bladder.  I tried out a Belly Band to adjust the placement of Baby Bean’s weight… other than giving the impression of a comically unattractive set of suspender lingerie, this did not do the trick either.  In the end, what worked best for me was some creative placement of pillows (in virtually every location surrounding my body) and a few daily exercises.    At this stage of my pregnancy, I can say that I have successfully conquered at least one of the beasts of pregnancy!

Baby Shopping 101

At the beginning of my second trimester, Tony and I attempted to start the baby shopping game.  I was barely showing then, and we felt awkward and out of place wandering the aisles of Babies “R” Us and other baby merchandise venues.  Most of the women looked like they were about to pop, while I looked like I had just eaten a bit too much dinner.  We decided to hold off a bit on shopping for The Bean.

Coming back in the 3rd trimester, we felt a lot more comfortable with the baby shopping game.  It probably helped that I was already 35 weeks pregnant, and we realized we were kind of on a time crunch.  In our second shopping experience, we made a few discoveries:

(1) If you aren’t sure about which products you need, find the nearest mom lugging around 3 or 4 kids and you will get a solid answer
(2) There is an easy way to pick a car seat… choose the one that your husband is able to latch and unlatch on the first try
(3) Strollers are a lot bigger than when we were kids
(4) Clearly, you can’t have enough burp cloths… why else would there need to be an entire aisle devoted to them

After hearing our wallets groan a bit following our trip to Babies "R" Us, we looked for other baby shopping alternatives.  One of the baby stores in San Antonio, "Once Upon a Child," sells tons of lightly used baby/kid items... in particular baby clothes!  We managed to walk out of the store with 30 outfits, a boppy pillow, and 4 pairs of new shoes for $75.  What a steal!

Long-Distance Shower

My mother-in-law and mom did an amazing job putting on a baby shower at home, including Tony and my closest friends and family.  


I was sad that I didn’t get to be there in person, but vicariously enjoyed the event through photos and phone calls.  Everyone had a chance to play some fun games and have a reason to come together.  I look forward so much to seeing everyone when Tony, Bean, and I come to visit… hopefully sometime soon!
















Nesting:

Since Tony and I will be moving in about a month, we decided to hold off on an official nursery for Baby Bean until we get to our new home. However, Tony and I still got the nesting bug, as we prepared this weekend for the arrival of our little guy. As he would have spent most of his first weeks to months in our room anyways, it made sense to convert part of out master bedroom into temporary nursery space.  


We prepared the side bedroom for visiting guests.  


We had fun setting up the special items from friends and family.  



Butters watched over the whole process.  


He seemed to particularly approve of the baby bassinet 





Birthing Stone:

One of the special packages that arrived in the mail a couple weeks ago came from my Dad.  This unique gift is a "Birthing Stone."  The premise of this item is, the stone comes from the location of your home. By placing the stone under your bed, you can ensure that your child will be born on the soil of your birthplace as well.  This gift will be passed on to my sisters when they have their children as well.  Only one problem with the Birthing Stone... it weighs a ton... likely more than any baby a human would be capable of delivering.



Insomnia:

One of my biggest concerns heading into pregnancy: how am I going to handle all those sleepless nights?  Tony and I both have always been the kind of people who really need our sleep.  We are hoping our child will take after both of us in this way!  However, this last trimester we both got a little bit of training in the poor sleep department.  Our little fur baby, Butters, has been pretty sick since he was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease.  He has been on some hefty doses of chemotherapy and immunosuppressant therapies.  As a result, we have gotten an early introduction to the poor sleep that can come with parenthood… we just hope Butters will start feeling better soon so that we don’t have two little boys keeping us up at night!

Birth Plan:

One of the big goals for this month has included forming a birth plan.  At the beginning of this trimester, my OB-GYN reminded me that it would be a good idea to start putting that together.  In medical school, I had a chance to witness first-hand some pretty interesting birth plans play out.  A few patients opted for water-births, which involved giving birth in the equivalent to a kiddie pool.  That seemed like a great idea, but I quickly realized it was not for me as the doula tried to fish the baby out of the blood and feces covered water.  For my birth plan, I decided to keep it simple.

(1) Yes to the epidural!  After seeing enough ladies change their minds mid-labor to get the epidural, I have no shame in saying straight from the start: give me the epidural! Many moms opted for totally natural births, something I give any woman huge kudos for.  But, I realized in my experience that a good chunk of those women changed their minds mid-way, deciding the epidural is the way to go after all.

(2) Avoid the c-section.  I will stand on my head,  massage my belly, crank up the pitocin… do whatever it takes to try and avoid the c-section.  I will not be one of the women looking for that elective c-section.  On some birth plans, you can ask to have the curtain dropped a bit to watch your baby be delivered by c-section.  After being on the other side of that curtain enough times, I can say: trust me ladies, you don’t want to know what is on the other side of that pretty blue sheet.  If it comes to it, of course I will do what I need to in order to keep my baby safe.  But, it certainly will be an end-game.

Labor Pains:

For better or worse, the actual delivery has been something that I have put off thinking about.  Many ladies do birthing classes, in preparation for the real thing.  Even contemplating practicing labor is enough to bring on contractions!  Tony and I have decided to just wing it… we will see how that goes

Working Mama:

In order to maximize my maternity leave, I have been continuing to work at the hospital.  My goal is to keep working up until .  At this stage of pregnancy, pretty much everyone you meet asks, “When are you due?”  Now that I am so close to delivery, the reactions are pretty comical when I tell them, “just 2 weeks left.” This usually elicits one of 2 responses: (1) Let me get that door for you or (2) You are crazy

Working as a psychiatry resident, being visibly pregnant can be either a huge advantage or disadvantage.  Many of the patients feel an alliance with you in this setting, getting them talking about their kids and families.  For some others, being pregnant was less than helpful in the therapeutic environment.  One individual developed the delusion that I had stolen her baby.  Needless to stay, it is good that I have remained so agile despite my monstrous size 

Baby Movements:

One of the things I will miss the most following my delivery: those gentle summersaults and fluttering hiccups.  Since my belly has dropped, Baby Bean's kicks no longer reach my ribcage and offer a sense of comfort.  I love how he will respond to the gentle pushes I will give him, as I encourage him to change positions or ensure that he is doing well.  At this point, I can distinctly tell where his tiny bottom, growing feet, and little fingers lie.  


Butters has greatly enjoyed using my belly as a nice headrest.  He hasn't seemed to mind the occasional kicks that Baby Bean offers.



I have greatly enjoyed chronicling my pregnancy over the last 9 months through this blog.  I look forward to soon entering a new stage in this journey, as Tony and I anxiously await the arrival of our Baby Bean!




Saturday, April 6, 2013

Jon + Mamie



Last month, two of my closest friends tied the knot.  I feel so honored that they asked me to capture their special day.  It was a beautiful event to celebrate an amazing couple.  The occasion was perfect: full of laughs, personal touches, and emotional moments shared with family and friends. 



Before the ceremony, I hosted a bridal luncheon for the ladies.  It was fun to chat and meet some of the couple’s friends and family as they all prepared for the wedding.




A few months ago, I had met Jon’s mom, Sharon, and loved having a chance to see her again.


The bride and her bridesmaids enjoyed my special portabella sandwiches, an assortment of dips, and sherbet punch while the stylists pampered them. 


Jon and Mamie chose a retro theme, offering a fun and unique feel to their intimate wedding.








Mamie’s wedding dress and accessories really pulled it all together.  The pearls, vintage-esque wedding gown and of course red-hot pumps were a gorgeous combo.







The stylist did a great job giving Mamie the perfect pin-up-style look to match her theme!











Mamie truly made a stunning bride.




Before we all whisked the bride off to the ceremony, Mamie received a surprise from her soon-to-be husband.


She could not help but tear up at the special words Jon had left for her on their wedding day 




The ceremony took place on the Riverwalk, a San Antonio landmark.  It was a perfect place to celebrate the couple, as the wedding party made their way to a bridge overlooking the water.










One of my favorite parts of a wedding is watching as the bride comes down the aisle.  You can always tell the connection between a couple in those few brief seconds.  Some couples will look out into the crowd.  Others will look down or away.  But, then there are the couples that look right into each other's eyes, only seeing one another in that moment.  Those are the couples you know are made to last.




After the ceremony, family and friends congratulated the new couple before heading off to the reception.  And, in character to the couple, a motorcycle offered the newlyweds an appropriate send-off.









Before heading to the reception, Jon and Mamie heated things up on the Riverwalk.  You would think these two were always in front of the camera! They both really are such naturals.







The alleyway behind the Pearl Brewery especially captured their steamy retro theme.










After their private photoshoot, we all gathered at the reception.  The setting was perfect, complete with an in-ground pool that filled the atrium.















Friends and family mingled over a great selection of appetizers.




















It was such a romantic spot to complete the day.  All of the special touches, from the beautiful decorations to the tasty BBQ, were fantastic.







Fi, one of our friends, did a beautiful job with the wedding cake.













It was clear that everyone had a great time.



















The bandanas, meant for napkins, quickly turned into headpieces.




Guests shared their favorite memories of the bride and groom.





The couple re-read their vows and danced on the rooftop under the delicate lights threaded through the beams.













And, Mamie and Jon received a fantastic send-off, making their way through a crowd of sparklers to end their perfect day

Congratulations, Jon and Mamie, on your marriage!  Thank you so much for including me in your special day, and may we be celebrating for many years to come!