Beginning Again

There is something to be said about loss.  When a loved one dies, you don’t simply lose that special friend… your entire world changes.  Routines no longer are the same.  It’s those early morning hours, the fleeting moments that used to be occupied by daily walks and excitement for breakfast, that you feel that twinge of emptiness.  Places that once brought comfort can become spaces of heartache.  You are not simply robbed of that one life… the hopes and dreams for what could have been are taken as well. 

When Butters passed, he took a little bit of this blog with him.  It was our special time together, as I would chronicle my experiences… our experiences… while we sat together on the couch.  He would rest his little head on my lap, and the words would easily flow from fingertip to page.  It has not been so easy since he left me.  In fact, it has been much harder than I could have anticipated.  I never expected for my heart to be so deeply touched by one little dog whom was taken so young.  Returning to this blog has reminded me that he is no longer here.  I have returned many times to write, simply to find the words missing. 

However, one of the beautiful things about life is as one story ends, another begins.  The birth of my son, Leon, has brought many new adventures.  I find myself missing this place, the capsule for my memories.  It is a space where I can capture and share my experiences before they escape me.  I want to explore the multitude of feelings brought on by motherhood: the love and joy that exponentially expands as my son grows… the transformation of nights out on the town into bath time bubbles, talks about poop colors, and kissing tiny fingers and toes… the challenging moments as I try to balance my roles as a wife, mother, and career woman.

I want to begin again.  I want this space to again stand as a source of inspiration, pushing me to take time to reflect on life’s special moments.

So, here is to new beginnings.  Let me again share with you the snapshots of my life.